Lent 46

Holy Saturday.  A fellow blogger pointed out that "Holy Saturday is different than any other day in the Christian year, I think, because it's a day dedicated to nothing."

And he's certainly right.  After a week full of the drama that surrounds the triumphant entry into Jerusalem, the turning over of the money tables in the Temple, the betrayal in the garden, and the crucifixion, Holy Saturday is kind of...anticlimactic.

If Holy Week were a critically acclaimed television series, Holy Saturday would be the filler episode before the season finale.

The image I associate with Holy Saturday is Jesus dead and locked away in a tomb and his disciples hidden away somewhere mourning and trying to figure out what's next.  The world is still shrouded in darkness. There's nothing really exciting happening.

Admittedly, it's hard to see God on Holy Saturday.  God died on Friday and God will rise on Sunday, but we're left here in this in between state of not knowing what exactly to do.  What do we do when God is dead?

The blogger I mentioned above called this day emblematic of the "fallow" time—the time between an ending and a beginning.  He explains it more eloquently than I ever could, so you should check out his piece (here's the link again).

Since tomorrow is Easter, today is also the last day of Lent, marking the end of this blogging journey I've been on.  As much as it's been about trying to see and discover God's work in my day-to-day existence, it's also very much been a period of self reflection and discovery.  I've wrestled a lot this Lent with what exactly I'm being called to.  My call to ordained ministry has been a big part of who I am for the past seven years, and in a time that has been wrought with change, my call has been one of the few things that has been constant.  And yet I've recently been starting to question whether or not my calling lies in ordination or not.

And I think that's ok.  Like I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, questioning is a sign of a healthy faith.  Over the next couple of weeks and months, I'm going to continue to wrestle with the discernment of my calling.  In the meantime, I'm going to stay in and celebrate this fallow time that I find myself in, because even though it's hard, I can still see God in the Holy Saturdays of my faith life.

Thank you for following me on this journey.  Have a blessed Easter season!

Today, I saw God in the in-between, fallow period.